me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
