Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
