I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
