Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
