I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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