Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
