I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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