So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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