I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
