I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
