I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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