White coat. Heels.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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