May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
