When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
