I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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