I like my sex mixed with concussions.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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