i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
