the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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