Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
