How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
