For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I love you.
Bad choice
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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