I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
