so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
