You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
