i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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