he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
