matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
