I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
