we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
