You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
