Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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