Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Terrible idea I love it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
