On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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