when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
