physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i was born a porn star she said
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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