By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
