Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
