im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
where are you?
Hypothermia
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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