I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
