I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can you bring me the toilet please
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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