He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
