is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
