Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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