when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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