Where is the hickey?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
