If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
