on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
