This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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