I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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