chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
