I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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