I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
